Eccentric singer-songwriter Tom Waits announced plans for a 2008 summer tour via a fake news conference video posted on his Web site.

Singer-songwriter Tom Waits announced his upcoming “Glitter and Doom” summer tour at a press conference Monday May 5th. At least that’s what he would have you think. In a video posted to his Web site, Waits expounded on details of the tour. The video begins with Waits seated in front of a large microphone—the noise of a crowded room can be heard, cameras flash and click; people can be heard asking questions.

Waits Never Fails to Confound and Amuse

However, although the tour appears to be the real thing, the conference was a farce. Waits cracks jokes with the supposed audience and provides details on the tour in his typical eccentric manner. Then we hear someone ask “Are you coming”? To which Waits responds, “No, actually I’m going.” He stands up and lifts the needle from a record player next to him, bringing the room to silence. The camera pans away to show a small room with nothing but empty seats.

Don’t worry, though; according to his label ANTI- (a division of Epitaph), the tour is indeed happening. Leave it to Waits to confound and entertain all at once. In the video, Waits explains that the dates for the tour were based on the pattern of the constellation Hydra. “When we’re all lost, what do we do? We all look up to the night sky. Indulge me.” Waits then pulls down a chart displaying an outline of the United States superimposed by an outline of Hydra.

The cities for each tour are all listed on the chart, with the first letter of each forming an acronym: PEHDTSKJMBA; Waits elucidates that the acronym has an additional meaning: “People Envy Happiness; Dogs Though Sense Courage, Knowing Jubilation Means Better Ass…sets.” He then vocalizes the acronym phonetically several times (ped-ska-jumba), along with the crowd that isn’t there.

European Tour?

He also mentions the possibility of a European tour based on the constellation Eradmus, “…known for its widely veering path that will be controlling and dictating our route from Spain to Dublin." Although dates for the European tour haven’t yet been set, the route for the US tour has been confirmed and can be viewed here.

Confirmed Tour Dates

Tuesday, June 17, 2008 Phoenix, AZ US

Orpheum @ 8:00 PM

Wednesday, June 18, 2008 Phoenix, AZ US

Orpheum @ 8:00 PM

Friday, June 20, 2008 El Paso, TX US

Plaza Theatre @ 8:00 PM

Sunday, June 22, 2008 Houston, TX US

Jones Hall @ 8:00 PM

Monday, June 23, 2008 Dallas, TX US

Palladium @ 8:00 PM

Wednesday, June 25, 2008 Tulsa, OK US

Brady Theatre @ 8:00 PM

Thursday, June 26, 2008 St Louis, MO US

Fox Theatre @ 8:00 PM

Saturday, June 28, 2008 Columbus, OH US

Ohio Theatre @ 8:00 PM

Sunday, June 29, 2008 Knoxville, TN US

Civic Auditorium @ 9:00 PM

Tuesday, July 1, 2008 Jacksonville, FL US

Moran Theatre @ 9:00 PM

Wednesday, July 2, 2008 Mobile, AL US

Saenger Theatre @ 8:00 PM

Thursday, July 3, 2008 Birmingham, AL US

Alabama Theatre @ 8:00 PM

Saturday, July 5, 2008 Atlanta, GA US

Fox Theatre @ 8:00 PM

The quirky, eccentric singer tours rarely, so tickets are likely to sell out quickly. . Tickets for past shows have been known to sell out in less than a day. No date has yet been announced as to when tickets will go on sale.